bully in the family

Bully In The Family - It's not just victims of bullying who can have lasting emotional problems. Here's what to do if your child is a bully.

No one wants their child to grow up to be an internet troll. You know the ones - the ones who constantly leave hateful, angry comments online to people they don't even know. Cyberbullying has become a trick, and it doesn't happen by accident. It is very likely that these cyberbullies were bullies as children.

Bully In The Family

Many parents do not want to believe that their child can become a bully, but of course it happens. Seth Scholer, MD, MPH, Monroe Carell Jr. Associate Professor of Pediatrics. Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt says there are a number of factors that influence a child's behavior.

Help Your Child Stand Up To Bullies

"Risk factors may include exposure to stressors such as poor parenting, domestic violence and lack of family support," Scholer says. "Bullies tend to be aggressive, want to dominate others, think badly of others, have trouble following rules, and see violence as a solution to life's problems."

"I am convinced that one of the most important questions for parents from preschool age is this: "Suppose you see a small child hitting another child. What should be done?'

"This is an important question because it addresses childhood aggression, which is one of the strongest risk factors for violence later in life, and opens the door to learning healthy discipline strategies," says Scholer.

According to stopbullying.gov, which Dr. Scholer identifies as one of the best free resources available on the topic, there are several warning signs that your child may be acting like a bully. If it:

Your Child Is Being Bullied Online

"A bully will repeatedly engage in offensive behavior in situations of power imbalance," Scholer says. "It is not insulting when people of equal status, power and ability fight or fight."

Bullying usually peaks in middle school and high school, she says, but can extend into adulthood. We know that bullying can leave lasting emotional scars. But what are the emotional risks for bullied children?

"Being a bully is associated with antisocial personality disorder and criminal behavior later in life. Many children who are bullies are also sometimes victims," ​​says Scholer. "Involvement as a bully and victim is associated with anxiety, depression, lower academic performance, suicidal ideation, and suicidal behavior."

There are many parenting practices that encourage appropriate behavior, while some may promote unwanted behavior, such as bullying, Scholer says.

Family Matters When It Comes To Becoming A Bully

"Parents should avoid hitting, yelling, shaming and bullying because these responses are associated with health problems later in life," she says. "Parents need to know that some of the best responses include setting rules/boundaries (ie, not hurting others), redirecting aggressive behavior into positive behavior, developing empathy, and discussing with children why certain behaviors are happening if they understand. important".

It's important to note that children imitate their own behavior, so it's important for parents and educators to model behaviors they want to instill in their children, such as kindness and respect. Treating others with kindness and respect sends a much stronger message to children than demanding that they treat others the same way.

Parents should discuss bullying and why it is an inappropriate behavior. "Parents should not ignore the problem and think it will go away on its own," she says. "Especially for bullying, schools should be involved. Depending on the severity and duration of bullying, parents should seek evaluation by a medical or psychiatric professional."

It is very important to have a good relationship dynamic between parent and child. If you're not communicating with your children, seeking family counseling can be very helpful, Scholer says.

Simon And The Bully

Scholer recommends www.stopbullying.gov as one of the best resources on bullying. You can also read about healthy parenting behaviors at www.playnicely.org.

How to Tell if a Child is Bullying: Click here to read how to recognize the signs of bullying and what to do if a child is being bullied.

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